reciprocation

What goes around, comes around. Walking back from town the other night, I realized that it's great to be able to return the generosity of others. It makes me understand how hard it is to be social when there's no money to reciprocate; lately I've felt like I have been able to afford to keep up. Maybe it's not the best way to spend money (I could be donating to the 'save the tree octopus' charity, after all), but it's nice to feel like buying a round for the group, without having to keep track of who's 'turn' it is, is manageable. I think it's part of a bigger change, a shift away from 'what's in it for me' mentality to a better understanding of the ways that we all depend on and support our network of friends. I hope that's what it means.

In other, unrelated, news: Lars and the Real Girl was a good, good show. One of the best in recent memory. A show bitter and sweet and sharp and well crafted.

A good quote: "You grow up when you decide to do right, okay! And not what's right for you, what's right for everybody, even when it hurts. Like, you don't jerk people around, you know, and you don't cheat on your woman, and you take care of your family, and you admit when you're wrong, or you try to, anyways. That's all I can think of, you know - it sounds like it's easy and for some reason it's not."

Oddly, I do feel like I've grown up recently. I notice it most in my interactions with my students--there's a difference in the way I perceive my relationship to them. I'm pretty sure I'm less grown up in some of my personal relationships lately. But it's a work in progress--slow going, and there's a lot of ground to cover.