princess buttercup

So after Princess Buttercup learns that her true love Westley has been murdered by pirates, she says to herself, "I will never love again." Lately that's sort of what I've been feeling. In talking to a friend last night, I realized that attraction, and admiration, and respect, and trust, are not love. They are the foundations of love, but feeling all of those ways about another person does not mean that you will also feel love, or develop a feeling of love, for the other person.
I guess this probably seems obvious to everyone but me. But maybe not: I wonder if lots of people don't go into marriage feeling respect and trust and admiration and attraction to a partner and expect some deeper attachment to develop based on those elements. And then they disconnect when they discover that those feelings are not enough to sustain the relationship.
This is very weird to me. I don't think you have to feel 'love' immediately when you meet a person (not in the love-at-first-sight sense), but I think you should be able to recognize--fairly early in a relationship--a desire or willingness or ability to feel something deeper than those foundational elements.
Right now, you can call me Buttercup.

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